Growing up my family embeded in my mind that tattoos were trashy. So maybe I believed them for a little while... Then I grew up and met people with tattoos, people who I did not consider to be trashy. My perceptions began to change. I realized that I liked tattoos, and that I wanted a few (in moderation) I didn't see how they would affect my ability to get a job, or make others look down on me, as my family had warned.
On the other side of the coin, I was also raised not to judge people based on appearance (contradictory much?) Anyway, I have never been the type of person who looks down on someone because of their outward appearance.
Fast forward to my eighteenth birthday and I am finally old enough to get a tattoo, I started out with a small heart that said love, that I drew myself, I got it on my foot so that I could cover it easily, not a big deal right?
My mom and grandmother CRIED. Yeah.
Moving on... a few years down the road I meet a guy I think I am going to marry and this leads to that... leads to us getting our names tattooed on eachother. (No, Im not kidding. You can read more about that here.) Not gonna say it was the best decision of my life, but people want what they want when they want it, and it taught me a lot, so... oh well. Guess I will have to get one removed. Not that big of a deal, still my own body, I can cover it when I need to, no one else's problem, right?
My mom probably cried for DAYS (if not more).
Flash forward 2 more years, I decide to TELL my mom I am getting another tattoo before I even go to get it! She tells me she wishes I wouldn't and rolls her eyes, but doesn't seem to be too upset. So this past weekend I went to get a really meaningful tattoo with my best friend, Nahal. Lyrics from a song we have been singing together for the last 17 years of our lives as best friends. Through everything we have remained friends, no matter the distance between us we have always been close. So our tats say "Near & Far & Always" which is a part of the chorus of that song.
We had a great time at The Warrior Dash this past weekend and then a bonding experience in getting our tattoos together.
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| Nahal & I getting ready to start! |
After seeing my tattoo on facebook a certain family member of mine messaged me and said "Have you lost your mind". Now granted, my mother warned me that theydid not like Tattoos and would be upset. Fair enough. If that is their opinion they have every right to not like my tattoo. However, in my opinion, if I didn't ask you for your opinion about my body then you have no right to attack me out of the blue for doing something that is a very personal choice as well as very meaningful to me. This particular family member and I only have a short amount of history together, so far, When they met me I already had 2 tattoos and I never really heard themsay anything about those tattoos. So why, all of a sudden, are they telling me that "I am tacky and putting myself in a different place" by getting this tattoo.
Now my mother talked to them, and cried on the phone to me, and I can understand that they don't approve of tattoos, but I am an adult and what I do with my body really isn't anyone else's business. My mother even told me she had HER friends texting and messaging her to "alert" her to her daughter's new tattoo... (one of the reasons I DISLIKE facebook) why do other people think that's appropriate!?
This tattoo means so much to me. A visual representation of the closeness and love that I share with my best friend, with this girl who has been my sister for 17 years. Something that I can't imagine ever regretting.
I actually plan on getting another tattoo one day, I want something that represents the re-birth I have expierenced through my weight loss and new found independence, maybe a phoenix who is reborn from ashes, or something beautiful that represents how I feel about myself and I plan to get it tattooed down my left side (once I am at my goal weight), wrapping around those beautiful lyrics that mean so much to me. I can't wait to see what people will say then.
So this is my question to you guys, what do you think? I value all and any opinions on this subject. Why are other people so concerned about people who have tattoos, who like to express themselves in that way? If your child got a tattoo would you cry? Would it upset you? Would you make them feel "trashy" or "tacky" for having them? I'd love to hear yall's thoughts on this subject, as I am just blown away by the response that I got.
As her mom, and since she asked, I would like to clarify my position about this. I must clarify that it was her grandmother (my mother) that called all tattoos trashy. I have dated men with tattoos and considered getting them myself. I believe tattoos are OK and I know many people with them who I think are not TRASHY and who I respect and WHOSE tattoos I believe are very beautiful on THEM.
ReplyDeleteI also know a lot of people who are not Trashy but have very trashy looking tattoos. And I know people who are trashy and have trashy tattoos. So on and so forth.
My concern over Vikki's tattoo was that I had wanted her to wait until she was older (I think 30 is a good age - as you pretty much know yourself by then - and you can afford to hire the best artist possible) this is after all permanent.
These have always been my only concerns and I do wish she had waited. I am in favor of the bird - IF I know it will done by an expert artist $$$$ - there is nothing worse (and i think tattoo lovers will agree with me) than a poorly executed tattoo. No one meant to insinuate that Victoria's tattoo makes her a Trashy person or lowers her in society - the concern by some is that there are still people in the world who look at people with Tattoos and judge them, and most parents and family would hate the thought of having our loved ones - type cast or prematurely judged for any reason. We are very very proud of you and love you very much!
I ultimately decided tattoos were not for me, but I came very close in my 20's to getting a few and I have friends who have today removed many of theirs that they got early in their lives.
In sum as I stated in my blog post on the subject,http://www.myadoptedlife.com/2012/04/25/mirror-mirror-how-being-an-adoptee-and-single-parent-shaped-my-parenting-style-and-relationship-with-my-daughter/- it is her body and her life and SHE is not ME. However she is my daughter and Mommies get to be emotional about their kids decisions that is just part of being a parent. She will have her turn one day and maybe this will help her relate when she and her child hold different beliefs.
WIth all my love - Vikki's Mom
I think my parents would kill me if I ever got a tattoo, so I can definitely relate! I love the one you got with your friend, it's super cute ! You should post a picture of the one on your foot as well.
ReplyDeleteHey Olga!
DeleteI feel you on the whole parents thing! Thank you :) If you want to see my foot one, that link in this post will take you there, the one where I say read more about the boyfriend tattoo here. Go take a look if you'd like!
<3 V
I came from a big anti-tattoo family. But even with all their opinions about them, I grew up thinking they were cool and always wanting one. I now have three and I know that my family doesn't understand it or get why I wanted them - but I can't change what they think and they can't change me either! I think my Grammy still thinks they are satanic or something. *rolls eyes* My most recent tattoo holds a lot of meaning for me and I love what it represents. At the end of the day, I got all of them for me and no one else. It's my body and they don't have to like or agree with all of the decisions that I make.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I'm pretty sure I'll be the mom that takes her kid to get their first tattoo.
I love your new tattoo and what it means for you. Beautiful symbol of the wonderful relationship you have with your friend.
Great response Jennifer, and I am glad to know that I am not alone out there! I just wish people could learn that if you don't have anything positive to say about someone else, just keep your opinion to yourself?? Especially if it doesn't affect you in any way. I'd love to see your tattoos, you should make a post about them!
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Parents can be funny sometimes.. We all go through our own things in life and have to make decisions which only we can say are right for us. I am SO ECSTATIC about our tattoos!!! this decision is one i know i will NEVER regret. i never even hesitated, after all vikki IS my family.. Near & Far & Always.
ReplyDeletePam, I love you.. :) I love how you can communicate to Vic and how you take responsibility for the things you do. You are an amazing mother!!! I wish more were like you ;) Love you both!!
Love, Hal
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ReplyDeleteMy parents were the same way. I am the only one in my immediate family that has a tattoo. It's on my ankle and it's the Japanese symbol for strength. It's probably 1x1. (Not big at all and can't even be seen when wearing jeans) however when I got my Dad said, "that's stupid, how do you know it doesn't say brocoli?" Really? If you can't say something nice, then DON'T say anything at all. I plan on getting another one too on my other ankle. My bff and I have talked about getting a tattoo together as well. I say if it makes you happy then who cares what other people think?! I really like your new tattoo!! <3