Love Done Gone

I can't hide the fact that this past month has been hard. I have had some really great times... and some really bad ones along the way. The path of falling out of love with someone is a long and difficult one, and I know I have a long way to go before this is really through running it's course...

 Last time when I was getting over Craig, it was easier because I was young, and I didn't realize that I wasn't really moving on at all, I was just hiding from the pain in the arms of someone new (Taylor). It didn't work. Along the way it was very hard for me to fully let go of Craig. This time will be different, I will get over Taylor all at once, all alone, no other guy will be there to make me feel special, loved, or wanted. It will be just me and my pain, but that's the way it should be and I know eight or nine months from now I won't still be hurting or missing Taylor like I did with Craig. I will get my healing process done in one, tough dose.

It's been a few weeks since I have seen Taylor, and he told me that he is seeing someone new... and not just seeing them but staying in her house...That hurts, bad... but it's what I was expecting. I always told Taylor, he didn't really love me for me, he loved me because he needed SOMEONE to love. Now, he found a new someone to start again with, he will learn in time that in the end it doesn't really help. Hiding from the pain and feelings only makes it last longer, and it only makes you dependent on someone else, it inhibits your ability to be your own person and grow. He will go down the same path that I did... I wish he didn't have to, but everyone has to learn on their own I suppose.

I know that I will make it through this, and be so much stronger for it and that's all that really matters. This coming weekend we are celebrating my 22nd Birthday... where have the years gone!? I feel like it's a monumental birthday for me... it's my first birthday where I am an adult fully living for myself. It's the start to an amazing year of self discovery and chasing my dreams with all that I have. I am pretty excited. Anyway, time to get back to work and the hum drum of regular life... haha. See you when I see you...

Victoria