What do you do when you feel lost,
sad, or at a dead end? I’ve never been in this situation before; I’ve never
been on the begging end. I really need some guidance, some advice as to what my
next move should be. When is enough? When can you tell if you’ve tried your
hardest? When do you see that you have done everything in your power to fix
things and it’s finally time to walk away? When do you give up and let go?
Sadly my life consists of this quote these days…
I wake up each day and try to act
like nothing’s wrong, but this cloud follows over me, and gets darker as the
day goes on. When I try and make it go away, it just gets worse, more dark and
heavy. I feel pathetic. Why can’t I let go? Why can’t I move on? He was so very
special to me, and I never meant to make him walk away.
I don’t want to let go, I don’t want to move
on, and that’s the problem. But I can’t force him to want me again. It’s just
that everything about us felt so right, and how do you just let go of that?
Nothing was broken, nothing was bad. Our communication styles were different,
is all, and we could have fixed that. Fixing it would have entailed compromise
and listening, but we could have done it, why don’t we deserve that chance?
I guess there is nothing more I can
do, no other words I can say to persuade him. I just hope he knows that this
isn’t what I wanted and that I feel like there could have been so much more in
store for us. I can’t keep feeling this way, and I can’t keep it bottled inside
anymore. I just have to accept what is, learn whatever lesson this has taught
me, let go, and move on.
I still don’t want to and I’m still
hurting so badly. I hope that changes someday soon.
FWIW. I'll always love you. You are stronger than you know. You are an impressive young woman, and one day, when you meet the man of your dreams, none of these others will matter so much. Parts of them will exist in that new love, waiting for you out there on the future. And that's the really amazing part -- that there is someone out there that is better.
ReplyDeleteMy sweet Victoria, I promise it will get better... Right now it seems like every second is painful... But in time those seconds become minutes, the minutes become hours, the hours become days and the days become weeks. I have so much more to say but I don't want to sound all preachy :)
ReplyDeleteIf you need anything I am always an email away...It's why we started blogging right? For good friends....
I think when relationships end, especially the ones that felt really, really good when we were in them, just need a certain amount of time to grieve them. They are a loss, the ending of something that made us feel alive and happy. I think it's okay to let yourself feel what you're feeling for a while. I know, and from personal experience, that there will come a day when you are able to pick yourself back up and you feel like you again and this man is just a memory. And that memory will sometimes draw tears and bring sadness but it will feel different. It's okay to grieve it for awhile. It's how we heal and how we can be open to love again.
ReplyDeleteEither way, and plainly said though - it sucks.
Thanks for your comment on my post today. And for making me aware I hadn't linked up right too. I think I fixed it. (o; Glad I found you today. I'm all about making new blog-friends. Hang in there girl. Hey - there's always the beach to lift your spirits. <3
As I was reading this I could totally relate to the way you feel. But then I think about all the times I thought I met "the one" and it didn't work out and later met someone better. When one door closes, I promise you another one will open, but you have to let go first. You should watch this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zL2OHiQybPY
ReplyDeleteThere's part 2 as well. It really helped me out. Feel better hun!