Change of Heart

I was looking at my blog posts from just a month or two ago and I realized how much can change in such a short amount of time! I don't think I had really even decided to move out on my own yet! I also was still applying to colleges for the fall of 2012, to get my bachelors in Acting. I can't believe that I am putting off school AGAIN, but really I just don't know what I want to do with my life. I feel like I have too many options! I LOVE acting, but it's a tough industry and I don't feel 100% committed to it, which I would have to be in order to make it anywhere.

I use to want to be an architect growing up, and it would provide a really great lifestyle, but I think I have always thought I wasn't smart enough to handle the math classes. I thought about being a Lawyer, but again the school aspect and studying that hard, was just never for me. I know that I can FORCE myself to do any of those things, but I want it to feel natural. I want to pick something and just feel like I was born to do it! Maybe that's not realistic... haha I never said I was a realistic kind of girl ;)

I signed a 15 month lease here in Dallas, and I 1 month is almost down... I am not sure what this next 14 months will bring, but I do know one thing. No matter if I know what I want to do with my life, I wake up everyday and I live it to the fullest, so looking back I know I won't be able to regret this time I am taking to decide which way to go, it's probably getting me to where I belong without me even knowing it, because that is just how life works!

After I finished writing that paragraph above I got chill bumps all over and started tearing up... jeez, I am such an emotional person... lol. I just feel so lucky to have everything and everyone that I have in my life. I feel like my life is so special and I am so so very lucky to be living it the right way, for myself, not for anyone else, and that I didn't end up pregnant, becoming a single mother and dragging that child behind me for this ride. I am so glad that I have the oppourtunity to get it right. To really live and then be completely (or at least somewhat) prepared when I start a family of my own.

I was telling my friend Holly last night that I felt dumb when people asked me what I was doing with my life, and she said to me just tell them "I'm living it." And I thought, wow, that's so true! I am living it and you better believe I am cherishing every moment. So maybe I'll change my mind a couple thousand more times and it will all turn out fine in the end, just you wait and see! :)



<3 Victoria