Falling in Love

Love. It really is a magical thing. It’s the driving force behind anything we do, well maybe I shouldn’t speak for the other 6+ billion people in the world, but I’d like to think that’s the truth. 

Some people may just love money or material possessions, and that’s what drives their actions. Others might love different activities that make them feel happy or fulfilled.

Then, there is loving other people. What love was created for, human interactions. Some may love good looks, faces and bodies that they think are “perfect” because it’s what society has displayed as the standard.

Other people love for what’s on the inside. I’d like to believe I am one of those people.  Most would. Who wants to admit that they are shallow or that they aren’t capable of loving as deeply as other people?

But I believe that there are different types of love. It’s a big world out there with a lot of people in it, so it’s easy to assume that different people love… well … differently. So how does it work? How do two people out of the billions find each other and make it work forever? These days it seems hard to believe that the same two people can last forever.

I think the answer lies in the individual. What are you willing to sacrifice? How hard will you fight before you give up? What makes it worth it to you? Do you really know yourself? Do you really know what it is that you want or need?

It’s become more than clear to me that if you want to love someone else, you have to completely know and love yourself first. You have to be your own person and choose to love someone else for who they are; not for who you want them or need them to be.

I’m not pretending I know all the answers… because honestly, if I did, my love life would probably look a little different. But what I do know is that I am not scared of love anymore. I don’t love for the wrong reasons, and I want to love someone and to be loved by them in the best and healthiest way possible. I came up with an analogy the other day to what falling in love feels like to me.

Falling in love is uncontrollable. It’s like getting on a rollercoaster ride, knowing it won’t stop until it’s ready. You have to ride it out to the end, good or bad, through the twists and turns, the slow climb to the top, the terrifying falls to the bottom, and the loops that leave you with butterflies. And sometimes when the ride is over it’s a good thing, you can walk away knowing you were brave enough to see it through to the end, and you walk away hand in hand with that person who sat next to you the whole time, in love and happier than ever before. But then sometimes the person you were with gave up, or was too afraid of the fall and you’re left alone and feeling sad that the thrills you experienced together are gone.

All I know is that I’m on that ride now, and I can’t stop it. I don’t even want to. I want to see how it ends, I’m climbing to the top of a long peak and maybe we will reach the top and crash and burn, or maybe there are still a few loops left for us to enjoy, who knows? I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.

I never want to try and control love again. I’ll just let it have me, I won’t pull the e-brake anymore, and I won’t be too scared to even get on in the first place. I won’t settle for the kiddie one that sits 4 ft above the safety of the ground. I’m not scared anymore.  I can handle it. I can be brave. I can trust myself. I can trust that this ride is where I was meant to be.